Weekly Post – March 27th

Living through a pandemic

in the south of France

374 days in Carcassonne since

1st lockdown in March 2020

▫️ DAILY AND WEEKLY STATISTICS HERE .

▫️ After the sudden rebound in the circulation of the virus last week, with an incidence rate that had increased by 40% between 12 and 19 March to reach 187 new cases per 100,000 inhabitants in one week, this marker of the epidemic situation has fallen back to 150, according to data delivered on Friday evening by the Aude prefecture and the Occitanie regional health agency (ARS). The prefectural and health authorities nevertheless mention a “situation that remains tense in the Aude” with the incidence rate remaining on a “high plateau”, even though it is marked by a decline, as is the rate of positivity (3.9% against 5.4% last week).

▫️ CONFINED DEPARTEMENTS and placed under “reinforced vigilance

Departments under reinforced vigilance

Departments confined from 27 March

Departments confined since 20 March

▫️ VACCINATION CENTRES

The Parc des expositions in Narbonne, the reception structure of the Albert-Domec stadium in Carcassonne. The deadline of mid-April is announced for the opening of two mass vaccination centres, with the ambition of a daily rate of 1,000 injections on each site.

▫️ GERMANY classified the whole of France, including the overseas territories, as a “high-risk zone” on Friday 26 March in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic. So far, only the Moselle department, which borders Germany, has been classified by Germany as a “high risk zone”. France was already in a “risk zone”, but this higher level – which was created by the Robert-Koch health institute a few weeks ago with the emergence of the variants – implies important movement restrictions, ranging from the obligation to present a negative test result (less than forty-eight hours old) when entering Germany to quarantine in Germany for ten days, or even the imposition of strict border controls. Such controls have been introduced by Germany most recently with Poland and, before that, with the Czech Republic and the Austrian Tyrol.

▫️ SUMMER TIME

Do not forget to change your clocks one hour forward tonight.

▫️ THE LOUVRE

All the works of the Louvre Museum “at your fingertips”: it is the dream of every art lover. And this is what the museum in the heart of Paris has done, by making all of its collections accessible free of charge on a dedicated website, which launched on Friday 26 March 2021.

▫️ ASTRAZENECA: “RARE” RISK OF THROMBOSIS CONFIRMED

The French medicines agency (ANSM) confirmed on Friday the existence of a “rare” risk of atypical thrombosis associated with AstraZeneca’s Covid-19 vaccine, following the occurrence of new cases in France, including two deaths, while stressing that the benefit/risk balance remained “favourable”.

▫️ EXCELLENT SERVICE

Some of you might recall that we had to replace a refrigerator. The new one was delivered a few days ago and I waswondering how to dispose of the old one till I came across the “Green” number, from the Mairie , of the office dealing with the removal of the so-called “Encombrants” (bulky goods removal service).

A quick call, they took my address and told me the service would inform me the day before the planned pick-up. In fact less than 24 hours later I received a call asking me if they could come the very same afternoon. All I had to do was put the fridge outside. I did just that and they came as planned and took the thing away. So if you live in Carcassonne and need help getting ris of bulky items, this is the number to call.

▫️ TIPS

Do this before you loose your mobile:

‘1 – Dial *#06# from your mobile

‘2 – Your obile displays a unique 15 digit number

‘3 – Note this number down and keep it safe

‘4 – In case of theft or loss, the police should be able to locate your phone, even if the telephone number itself has been changed.

▫️ MUSIC OF 1969

Another #1 in France at that time

🎶 / 🎶 / 🎶

▫️ FOOD & DRINKS

Space Cargo brings back its space wine for scientific publication

After a 14-month stay in space, the twelve bottles of Bordeaux wine repatriated by the startup Space Cargo are being tasted, analysed and researched. The first conclusions were presented on 24 March.

This tour de force took shape in November 2019 when a case of twelve bottles of Petrus, vintage 2000, was sent to the ISS with the support of Cnes, ESA, Nasa, Thales Alenia Space and the American company Nanoracks. 438 days later, after a weightless journey at an altitude of 450 km and a distance of 300 million km, the precious bottles returned to Earth on 14 January aboard a Dragon capsule chartered by SpaceX, Elon Musk’s company. They have since reached Bordeaux, where one of them has been tasted in due form at the Institute of Vine and Wine Sciences (ISVV), compared with the same bottle that remained on Earth.

I noticed variations: the wine that had been in space had a deeper colour, the tannins were a little more silky, a little more evolved, the aromatic side became a little more floral. With my experience of the 2000 Chateau Petrus, I can even say that I would have given two or three more years to this wine that travelled in space. Of course, it was only one bottle and all this needs to be confirmed,” testifies oenologist Jane Anson.

▫️ SATIRE

▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸

▫️ THE FABULOUS FRIDAY (FUNNIES) GROANS from Paul

▶︎ The great “Pun”dits say…

▸ The person who invented the door knock. …….. won the No-bell prize.

▸ I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt ……… Then it clicked.

▸ Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, showever gel, towels and deodorant ……… Dirty fellows.

▸ I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory ……… All I did was take a day off.

▸ To the guy who invented Zero ……… Thanks for nothing!

▸ Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, ……… then it just becomes a soap opera.

▸ Want to hear a construction joke? ……… I’m working on it.

▸ A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period ……… It marks the end of his sentence.

▸ I have a few theories about unemployed people ……… But never mind; none of them work.

▸ 2 antennas met on a roof and got married ……… The wedding was OK, but the reception was incredible.

▸ Sleeping comes so naturally to me, ……… I could do it with my eyes closed.

▸ A small boy swalloed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said ……… “No change yet”.

▸ Thee was once a cross-eyed teacher ……… she just could’nt control her pupils.

▸I am selling my guitar, ……..no strings attached!

▸ I usually take steps ……… to avoid elevators ………

▶︎ Ten years ago today they sent a probe into the World Wide Web in search of intelligent life. Though there have been regular reports back, so far there have been no positive reports.

▶︎ A girl was visiting her blonde friend, noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked what she named them. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” Whereupon the blonde responded, “What else you gonna name watch dogs?”

▶︎ One morning a man comes into the church on crutshes. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both his legs, then throws away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and ran into the rectory to tell the priestwhat he’d just seen. Without batting an eye lid, the priest said, “Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?” “Flat on his back over the holy water, Father.”

▶︎ There is no doubt that teachers have had a very difficult 2020, here is some humour especially for them.

“Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your optionsbefore making a selection.

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at astaff members – Press 4

To ask why you did not get information that was alread enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

To request another teacher for the third time this year – Press 7

To complain about bus transportation – Press 8

To complain about school lunches – Press 9

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework, and that it is not the teacher’s fault for your children’s lack of effort … hang up and have a nice day!

▶︎ The Royal Navy Marine was the last off the ship, he’s wandering around Pompey looking for abed for the night. They are all taken. At the very last hotel, he is deparate for a bed. He pleads with the hotelier a bed, anywhere. “Well” says the lanlord “There is a tein room, with two single beds, however there is a sailor. No one will share with him because of his lound snoring, I mean he is really lound, I have to offer a discount to the rooms either side. You can have that one for half price” “No problem, I’ll take it” says the marine. The next morning, the sailor comes down for breakfast, all bleary and dishevelled. As he’s sitting down the marine comes in , brighteyed and bushy-tailed. The maitre d’… whilst walking the marine to his table, asks what happened. “Simple” says the marine “He was already snoring his head off. I went over to him, kissed him and said ‘Goodnight Beautiful’ and he sat up all night watching me!”

▶︎ I hope Elon Musk does not get involved in a complex scandal, because ElonGate would be really drawn out!

▶︎ A few short Oiish ones to see the week out …

▸ Q: Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?

A: Its population is always Dublin.

▸ Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A: They’re always a little short.

▸ Q: How can I rish people tell when it’s summer?

A: The rain gets warmer.

▸ Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?

A: A shamcrock!

▸ Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leaf clovers and not 3-leaf clovers?

A: They need all the luck they can get!

▸ Q: What’s Irish and stays out all night?

A: Patty O’furniture

Oh, OK, Just a few more …

▶︎ My neighbour likes to make a big deal about how SOME people prefer listening to rock music that’s made using only a guitar, drums and vocals. At first I thought he was just an opinionated music listener but … I’m strting to think he is a bassist.

▶︎ A man visits the doctor

Doctor: Sir, you are obese.

Man: What? I demand a second opinion!

Doctor: Your hair looks stupid.

▶︎ A man went to the doctor …

He said, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Somthing’s wrong. Just put your ear to my thigh, you’ll hear it” The doctor cautiously placed his ears to the man’s thigh only to hear, “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.” “I’ve never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on” the doctor asked. “That’s nothing Doc, put your ear to my knee.” The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard it say “Man, I really need 10 bucks, just lend me 10 bucks!!” “Sir, I do not know what to tell you. I’ve never seen anything like this.” The doctor was dumbfounded. “Well Doc, that’s not it. There’s more, just put your ear to my ankle” the man urged him. The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead “Please, I just need 5 bucks. Lend me 5 bucks please if you can” I have no idea what to tell you” the doctor said. “There’s nothing about it in my books” he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. “I can make a well-educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg appears to be broke in three places”

See you again next week

▫️ WEATHER

A few pleasant days in front of us.