Info Post – November 22nd

Living through a pandemic

in the south of France

612 days since

1st lockdown in March 2020

DAILY STATISTICS HERE

▫️ HOME NEWS DESK

Fluctuat nec mergitur


✏️ 5th wave

What needs to be done to stem the resurgence of the epidemic? Rely solely on vaccination and the return of barrier measures? Reinforce the health pass? Take new restrictions?
On the contamination front, the situation is deteriorating at a rate described yesterday by the government spokesman as “lightning”. On average over a week, the number of new cases has almost doubled. And we can’t count on a helping hand from the weather: the low temperatures are likely to favour the spread of the virus.
The question is whether this outbreak will result in a massive influx of patients to hospital. For the moment, this is not the case, but the level is rising. But it would not take much for the health care system, which is already stretched to the limit, to go under. Invited this morning on France Inter, Martin Hirsch, the head of the Assistance Publique-Hôpitaux de Paris, estimated that the consequences of a fifth wave are not expected before “the end of December or January” in the hospital services.

✏️ Income tax

You are not the only one looking for information on the web. The Directorate General of Public Finances is using social networks such as Instagram and Facebook, as well as websites where people meet – Airbnb, BlaBlaCar and Leboncoin, for example – to track down fraudsters. The aim is to use digital platforms, particularly social networks, to ensure that taxpayers do not publish anything that is contrary to the law or to their tax returns. The experimentation of this system, introduced by Article 154 of the Finance Act for 2020 and piloted by the Directorate General of Public Finance (DGFIP), is to last three years.

✏️ German humour is no laughing matter

The German Health Minister’s shock phrase. Faced with the explosion of cases in recent weeks, Jens Spahn called on his fellow citizens to be vaccinated “urgently”. “By the end of the winter, as is sometimes cynically said, almost everyone will be vaccinated, cured or dead,” he said.

▫️ HEALTH SITUATION

✏️ FRANCE 🇫🇷

Daily update on the Covid epidemic in France, with figures from Santé Publique France and the Ministry of Health.

CONTAMINATIONS
This Sunday 21 November, 19,749 new cases of Covid-19 were recorded in 24 hours, according to figures from Santé Publique France, giving a total of 7,414,971 confirmed cases since the start of the epidemic.

The test positivity rate is 4.7%.

HOSPITALISATION
There have been 3,269 new hospitalisations in the last seven days.

DEATHS
In 24 hours, 15 people have died in hospital from Covid. The total death toll since the beginning of the epidemic is 118,461, of which 91,564 have died in hospital.

VACCINATION
Since the beginning of the vaccination campaign in France, 51,644,678 people have received at least one injection and 50,565,421 people are fully vaccinated.

No deaths for 16 days in the Aude
In the Aude, 45 people with Covid were hospitalised on Saturday, 4 more than the day before. Among these patients, 7 are being treated in critical care units (intensive care, intensive care or continuous surveillance), which have been sand for five days; 23 are being treated in conventional hospitalisation (+4); 13 people are admitted to follow-up and rehabilitation care (SSR) or long-term care units (USLD) (stable in 24 hours) and two to another type of establishment (stable).

The number of deaths has not changed since 5 November, i.e. 16 days, at 413. The incidence rate rose above 100 on Saturday, reaching 130 cases per 100,000 inhabitants on Sunday for the rolling week of 12 to 18 November.

Since the beginning of the epidemic, 1,549 people have been discharged from hospital.

No deaths in the Pyrénées-Orientales
In the Pyrénées-Orientales, 94 Covid patients are being treated in hospital (1 more in 24 hours). Among them, 6 are in critical care (resuscitation, intensive care or continuous monitoring), stable since Friday. Twenty-two patients are being treated in conventional hospitals (one more in 24 hours); 53 in follow-up and rehabilitation care (SSR) or long-term care units (USLD) (stable since Friday) and 13 are admitted to another type of hospital (stable).

No deaths were reported in the department on Sunday, with the total remaining at 425 since March 2020.

The incidence rate continues to rise and is back to its level of the end of August at 166 per 100,000 inhabitants, according to the figure communicated this Sunday, for the sliding week of 12 to 18 November.

Since March 2020, 1,820 people hospitalised have returned home.

▫️ SEASONAL PIC

▫️ FOOD & DRINKS

▫️ MUSIC

Quite a collection

Guitars owned by U2’s the Edge, Eddie Van Halen, Elvis Presley and Eric Clapton were among the highest-bid items at a rock-themed auction that raked in over $5 million this weekend.

Julien’s Auctions’ Icons & Idols: Rock N’ Roll event also featured David Gilmour’s stage-used guitar from Pink Floyd’s Momentarily Lapse of Reason era ($200,000, doubling its pre-auction estimate) and Amy Winehouse’s Fender Stratocaster, which the late singer played onstage in and in the “Take the Box” music video; that guitar sold for $153,000.

Despite the controversy surrounding Clapton’s stance on vaccination mandates and Covid lockdowns, people still really like the song “Layla,” as Clapton’s stage-used acoustic guitar from his time with Derek & the Dominoes sold for an auction-high of $625,000, beating its $500,000 pre-auction estimate. (Clapton’s handwritten lyrics for “Layla” sold for $37,500, however, the low-end of its pre-auction estimate.)

The Edge’s 1976 Gibson Explorer Electric Guitar — used during U2’s The Joshua Tree tour — reached a high bid of $437,500, while Bono’s 2005 Gretsch Irish Falcon — played live when U2 performed “One” and “Walk On” — sold for $115,000.

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

▫️ FUN / SATIRE

▫️ FRIDAY FUNNIES (on Monday) from Paul

Greetings one and all.

Getting chilly in the north…

□ True story ………………………. for the Aussies…..

Many years ago as a 22 year old I was sent to Brisbane from Melbourne for a company I worked for. 

Shared a flat with a guy up there. Went down to the chippy for dinner and asked for
flake and chips.

Guy looked at me what’s flake ?

Shark says I.

Son, up here the sharks eat the people !!!!!


□ Two blokes living in Australia saw a job advertised by the Queen of England. She was 

looking for footmen, to walk beside her carriage.

They applied and were very happy to be flown to London for an interview with Her Majesty.

On meeting them she says, “Because my footmen must wear long white stockings, I 

must see your ankles to be sure they are not swollen or misshapen.”

After they show her their ankles, the Queen says, “It is also important that you don’t have 

knobby knees, so I need to see your knees too.”

Once she has seen their knees, she says. “Now everything appears to be in shape, so I just need to see your testimonials.”

Ten years later, when the pair are finally released from prison, one of the blokes says to the other, 

“I reckon, if we just had a bit more education we would have got that job!”


□ An oldie…

It was two o’clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.

The husband picked up the phone and said, “Hello? … How the heck do I know? What am I, the weatherman?” — and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, “Who was that?”

The husband replies, I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.

□ Did you hear about John Travolta’s covid scare over the weekend?
He’s ok, turned out it was just Saturday night fever


□ So I phoned my boss this morning.
“I’m on the train heading to the south coast now.”
“What?” He answered, sounding a bit annoyed.
“It’s 5 o’ clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?”
“You tell me,” I replied. “You’re the one who told me to be in
Brighton early this morning!”

□ While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed the trip.  She left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had  been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the grumpy old man.

He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive.
The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let  up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at  the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car, and hurried in side to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled out to her, “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card”.


□ Four older women are sitting around playing Bridge.

The first lady says,
“You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is
something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But don’t
worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been
friends for too long.”

The second Lady says,
“Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something
off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don’t worry, I have never
made a play for your husbands. They don’t interest me and never will;
we have been friends for too long.”

“Well,” says the third lady,
“I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will
not bother you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long
for me to ruin our friendship.”

The fourth lady stands up, says,
“I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I
have some phone calls to make!”

□ Some short ones ……………

• I’m gonna work on being less condescending.


• Bulldozer: Someone who can sleep through a politician’s speech.


• My Golf Coach has identified that I’m standing too close to the ball.
After I’ve hit it….


• I would never call anyone stupid, but I do know a few people
who have bad luck when thinking.


• If I had a dollar for every woman who found me unattractive…
they would eventually find me attractive.


• I went to an Eskimo restaurant to enquire about their house specials.
“Well sir, we have Whale meat, Whale meat, Whale meat, or the Vera
Lynn.”said the chef.
” Whats the Vera Lynn?” I asked.
He replied” Whale meat again. “

□ A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears: 

BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes 

out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. 

BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. 

FASTER… FASTER… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…. He runs up to his door, fumbles with 

his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. 

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP…clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… 

on his heels, as the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head 

is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket 

breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. 

The man screams and reaches for something, anything… All he can find is a box of cough drops! Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin……
and…. of…. course …the coffin stops!

□ A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!”

The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”


□ Q: Why aren’t elephants allowed on beaches?

A: They can’t keep their trunks up!


□ Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?

A: So he won’t be spotted.


□ Q: Why do sharks live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!


□ Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

A: Because the farmer had cold hands.


□ Q: Why do giraffes have long necks?

A: Because they have smelly feet.


□ Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

A: “You are too young to smoke.”

□ And to finish the week…..

• Insomnia is awful, but on the plus side only three more sleeps till Christmas! 

• I rang my wife from the shop cos I’d forgot what orange juice she wanted.
‘Concentrate’ she said, but I still couldn’t remember 

• Greggs have announced a new delivery service using drones.
All sounds a bit pie in the sky to me! 

• My Indian friend died of a heart attack last night.
Must have had a dodgy Tikka. 

• I asked Arnold Schwarzenegger what his favourite Christian festival is.
He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.” 

• Me: “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
Doc: “I don’t follow you … ” 

• I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym again yesterday.
That’s 20 years in a row! 

See ya later, Alligator

Oh, that reminds me…

Question from a shrink to his patient, an Alligator:

“Does it bother you that so may people say to you ‘See you later’?”

▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸

Some more gems from crazy USA

▫️ ADDITIONAL READS FOR TODAY

❒ This town won’t see the sun again until January.

❒ Visualising what happens in an internet minute.

🏠

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