Info Post – December 18th

Living through a pandemic

in the south of France

638 days since

1st lockdown in March 2020

DAILY STATISTICS HERE

▫️ HOME NEWS DESK

Fluctuat nec mergitur

Faced with a fifth wave and a highly contagious omicron variant in ambush, the government, as planned, announced on Friday new measures between now and the holidays after a new Health Defence Council. Here are the main measures and recommendations outlined by Prime Minister Jean Castex.

A bill in early January to transform the health pass into a vaccination pass
This is the main proposal of Jean Castex’s speech from Matignon. After explaining that the government will reinforce “in January the incentive to vaccinate because it is not acceptable that the refusal of a few million French people to be vaccinated puts the life of an entire country at risk and affects the daily life of the vast majority of French people who have played the game since the beginning of the epidemic, the Prime Minister then announced that “a bill will be submitted to Parliament at the beginning of January to transform the health pass into a vaccination pass. In concrete terms, to go to a restaurant or cinema, a simple antigenic or PCR test recorded in your health logbook will no longer be enough. You will have to present a complete vaccination schedule. This is a final summons before the compulsory vaccination that other European countries such as Austria have adopted.

Town halls must refrain from concerts and fireworks on New Year’s Eve
For New Year’s Eve, wild gatherings, fireworks and concerts will be banned. “I appeal to everyone’s responsibility to find other ways than large gatherings,” said the head of government, who said he understood “the frustration of having to limit ourselves at these festive times”.

The remuneration of overtime in hospitals will be “multiplied by two”.
This measure will be effective from next Monday, said Jean Castex. “We have asked city professionals to mobilise to ensure the continuity of care during this period” and “measures will also be deployed for our emergency services, but what our carers expect from us is that we are prudent and above all that we vaccinate ourselves” added the head of government from Matignon.

For the Christmas holidays: “The fewer the numbers, the fewer the risks”.
“The fifth delta wave is here. It continues to hit us with nearly 50,000 cases a day. […] The omicron variant is unfolding at a rapid pace. We think that this variant could be dominant by the beginning of 2022,” said Jean Castex, while admitting that he did not yet “know everything about this variant. The data indicate that full vaccination coverage protects us against severe forms of the disease. Limiting contamination as much as possible in the run-up to the end-of-year celebrations “involves simple recommendations: rather than a precise number (6, 8, 10), let’s rely on a principle of common sense: the fewer the number of people, the lower the risk”.

▫️ HEALTH SITUATION

✏️ FRANCE 🇫🇷

Summary update on the epidemic in France, with figures from Santé Publique France and the Ministry of Health.

CONTAMINATIONS
This Friday 17 December, 58,128 new cases of Covid-19 were recorded in 24 hours.

The rate of positive tests was 6.8%.

HOSPITALISATION
There are currently 15,410 Covid-19 patients hospitalised (+1,238 in 24 hours), including 2,901 in intensive care.

DEATHS
In 24 hours, 163 people have died in hospital due to Covid. The total number of deaths since the beginning of the epidemic is 121,333.

VACCINATION
Since the beginning of the vaccination campaign in France, 52,431,083 people have received at least one injection.

In the meantime, the local Aude Incidence Rate is still increasing and stands at 558,08 (see the Data Page for more details). It is now 38 points above the national average.

▫️ SAYINGS of the week

▫️ FOOD & DRINKS

I guess Mulled Wine is the seasonal drink of the month

▫️ CAR OF THE WEEK

▫️ MUSIC

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

▫️ FUN / SATIRE

▫️ FRIDAY FUNNIES from Paul

Season’s greetings to all FFF subscribers.

◼︎ Two married women are having coffee and discussing their love life when one says,

“Have you ever tried playing doctor?”

Her friend says, “No. What’s it like?”

She replies, “It’s amazing. Me and husband were playing for about 6 hours.”

Her friend, shocked says, “6 hours!? How the hell did you manage that long?”

“I just left him in the waiting room for 5 and a half hours.”


◼︎ Some one liners

‣ Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.

‣ Oh Lord, give me patience…and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

‣ I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

‣ Laughingstock: cattle with a sense of humour.

‣ Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

‣ To err is human, to moo bovine.

‣ For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

◼︎ A guy is late for an important meeting. But he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”

◼︎ The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop. He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” “That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
 He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”
 The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologises and lifts the needle onto the next track.
 Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognise any of these sounds.”The assistant apologises again and lifts the needle to the next track.
 The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. “This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!” The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.”What seems to be the problem, sir?””This is an outrage! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!”
 The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.”I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.”

◼︎ For a high school dance, the head boy asked out the girl he liked. To get flowers for her, he had to stand in a line outside the florist for an hour. To make things worse, he had to wait another hour in a line outside the tuxedo shop. Finally, he goes to the dance with the girl. The girl wanted to have some apple punch so the boy went to get it, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

◼︎ My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”I thought, “Man, what a weird way to start a conversation.”

◼︎ I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I’m not sure what scared him more. My naked body or the fact I knew where he lived

◼︎ Today I saw an ad that said “radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

◼︎ I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today. It’s my thirty-second birthday.

◼︎ I proposed to my ex-wife today She said no, she thinks I’m just after my money

◼︎ Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say, and it completely ruined our bath.

◼︎ Monday – Greg, Tuesday – Ian, Wednesday – Greg, Thursday – Ian, Friday – Greg, Saturday – Ian, Sunday – Greg

The Gregorian calendar

◼︎ I text my wife tonight, “Honey, I’m going to stay in the bar another hour with my friends for another pint…”

“…if I’m not back in an hour then read this message again.”

On that note – catch you again in 2022!

▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸

Some more gems from crazy USA

▫️ ADDITIONAL READS FOR TODAY

Perseverance rover makes ‘completely unexpected’ volcanic discovery on Mars 

❒ The top sports images of the year

🏠

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