Weekly Post – April 24th

Living through a pandemic

in the south of France

401 days in Carcassonne since

1st lockdown in March 2020

▫️ DAILY AND WEEKLY STATISTICS HERE .

▫️ The situation of the epidemic in the region, in the Aude and the Pyrénées-Orientales this Friday according to the figures of Santé publique France.

In Aude, this Friday evening, 138 people are hospitalised (5 less than Thursday): 63 in conventional hospitalisation (-1), 21 in intensive care (-1), 53 in follow-up care or long-term care (-3 compared to Thursday) and 1 in other structures. 1 additional death was recorded on Friday. In total, 329 people have died from Covid in the department.

In the Pyrénées-Orientales, 167 patients are hospitalised this Friday (+2 in 24 h): 82 in conventional hospitalisation (-2), 27 in intensive care (the same total as Thursday), 56 in follow-up or long-term care (+4) and 2 in other structures. 3 additional deaths were recorded in the Pyrénées-Orientales on Friday. The department counts 282 victims of Covid.

In the Occitanie region, this Friday evening, 1890 people are hospitalized because of the Covid (+16 in 24 hours): 998 in conventional hospitalisation (+16), 399 in intensive care (-8), 483 in follow-up care or long term care (+8 compared to Thursday) and 10 in other sectors. In total, 4038 inhabitants of the Occitanie region have died from Covid-19, including 13 in the last 24 hours.

▫️ Covid-19: Johnson & Johnson injections start today in France
France has received a first shipment of 200,000 doses of Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine.
The vaccine can be stored at 2-8°C for easier distribution and storage. People over the age of 55 will be able to receive Johnson & Johnson’s Covid-19 vaccine “as of this Saturday,” Health Minister Olivier Véran announced on Thursday.

▫️ SPACE STATION

Multi tasking again as I am watching live the imminent docking of Dragon to the ISS this Saturday morning. The picture quality is absolutely stunning.

▫️ MUSIC OF 1967

I watched a very interesting program last night about the Kinks on ARTE TV. Very interesting and it brought back a lot of memories as well.

🎶 / 🎶 / 🎶

▫️ FOOD & DRINKS

The Burgundian winegrowers are beginning to make the first estimates of losses following the exceptional frost episode which took place at the beginning of April and which affected the entire vineyard.
Behind the magnificent spectacle of candlelit vines lies a sad reality… The work of a whole year, reduced to nothing. “I am stunned! In thirty years of farming, I have never experienced this! “Thiébault Huber, president of the Confédération des Appellations et des Vignerons de Bourgogne (CAVB), admits. In 2016, the Côte Chalonnaise and the Mâconnais had been spared and the temperatures had not fallen as low as this year, with sometimes -7 or -8 degrees. This time, the whole of Burgundy was affected by the frost: from Chablis to the Grand Auxerrois to the Mâconnais.

“That there are frost episodes in April is not surprising. The concern is the summer temperatures of the last week of March, which caused the buds to open”, explains Thiébault Huber. The Chardonnay and Aligoté, which were further ahead, seem to have been much more affected than the Pinot Noir. “The destruction within the plots can range from 20% to 80% of the buds, and even 100% in some areas,” notes the Bureau interprofessionnel des vins de Bourgogne (BIVB). This observation is quite serious and some situations are likely to be complicated for individuals.

▫️ ANCILLARY NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND from our correspondent in Britain

I am afraid our correspondant is too busy practising his new hobby

Archery

✏️ ✏️ ✏️

▫️ SATIRE

▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸

▫️ THE FABULOUS FRIDAY (FUNNIES) GROANS from Paul

A decent bunch of funnies this week. Enjoy!

A starter pack……

・I wanted to post  a joke about sodium but then I was like, Na, people wouldn’t understand!

・Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick to a diet?
A: A deserter.

・I saw Michael J Fox at a garden centre the other day. Recognised him straight away, he had his back to the fuchsias!

・I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat-belt. Then it clicked.

・My girlfriend said if I don’t do page 7 of the Kama Sutra she will leave me. It put me in a very difficult position.

・I look after plant pots and hanging baskets for celebrities, which means I tend to shrub holders with the rich and famous.

■ We are nearing the end of the BBQ season here. Let me refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meters exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off’,and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women

Some short jokes …………..

・What did the drummer name her twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two.

・I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.  But when I got home, all the signs were there.

・A priest, a Pastor and a Rabbit entered a clinic to give blood. The nurse asked the Rabbit for his blood type. “I’m probably a type O” replied the rabbit

・I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart while they’ve never even seen one of his paintings.

・Told my mum I was opening a theatre she said “you’re having me on” I said “well not necessarily, but we’ll give you an audition!”

■ One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse – a very long shot – won the race. Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his   winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on. True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was. Confronting the old priest he demanded, ‘Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I’ve lost every cent of my savings – all of it!’.

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. ‘Son,’ he said, ‘that’s the problem with you Protestants, you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.’

■ There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to their Mercedes. They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a closet hanger. The 1st blonde said to the second one, “You need to try harder. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”

■ Many years ago on a long trans-continental flight, an elderly lady asked if she could visit the cockpit. When she got up there, she found four crew. She asked the first what he did, and he explained that he was the Navigator and his responsibilities were to keep the aircraft on its track across the earth. She turned to next one and asked what he did. He explained that he was the Flight Engineer and his job was to monitor and troubleshoot any aircraft or engine system problems to keep the aircraft operating smoothly. She turned to the next one and asked what he did. He explained that as the Captain he was responsible for everything in the aircraft and to fly and direct everyone in it. She turned to the First Officer and asked, “Well young man, what is your job? “He replied “Ma’am, I am the captain’s s*xual advisor.” Somewhat shocked, she said, “I beg your pardon young man, but what do you mean by that?” “Very simple ma’am. The captain has told me on a number of occasions that when he wants my effing advice, he’ll ask me.”

■ Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'” “It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.”

・Q: What do you get when you bless an avocado?
A: Holy guacamole!


・Q: What did the snake say to his girlfriend?
A: C’mon, let’s hiss and make up.


・Q: Why did the projector blush?
A: It saw the filmstrip.

・Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Catch y’all later….

▫️ FUN

▫️ WEATHER

Very pleasant day out there today

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