DAILY STATISTICS HERE

▫️ NEWS

Thanks to the figures communicated this Thursday 24 June by Santé publique France, here is the balance of the epidemic in the region, in the Aude and the Pyrénées-Orientales.

Only 2 patients left in critical care in the Aude
As of 24 June, 39 people were hospitalised for Covid in Aude (2 less in 24 hours). This is a figure that has not been seen since 28 October last.

Among them, 2 are in critical care (stable). A figure not seen since 24 October. 19 were treated in conventional hospital (-2), 17 in follow-up care or long-term care (stable) and 1 in another type of establishment (stable).

In the department, 367 deaths due to Covid have been reported in hospitals, a figure that has remained stable for 11 days. In Aude, 1,218 people have returned home since March, including 3 more since the previous day.

Nine in the P.-O.
In the Pyrénées-Orientales on 24 June, 61 patients are being treated in hospital in the department, -1 in 24 hours.

Some 9 of them are in critical care (resuscitation, intensive care or continuous monitoring), stable in 24 hours. But this indicator has been rising since 19 June (6).
19 patients were treated in conventional hospital (-1), 31 in follow-up care or long-term care (stable) and 2 in another type of establishment (stable).

No additional deaths have been reported since Wednesday. In total, 328 people have died in hospital in the department since March 2020. This figure has remained unchanged since 14 June. Finally, 1,385 patients were able to return home, stable in 24 hours.

▫️ STREET ART

I happen to be such a fan

▫️ TRAVEL NEWS – From France’s point of view. (🔸 =New)

24/06: People who have been vaccinated or who have already had covid can now enter Norway without quarantine. . 🔸
24/06: The US says restarting international tourism is a priority, but has not yet announced a date for reopening borders to Europeans. . 🔸

24/06: From 1 July, vaccinated people will no longer need to be tested on arrival in Iceland or quarantined while waiting for the results. 🔸
24/06: The Netherlands no longer requires a test for travellers from France. 🔸
24/06: Israel postpones the opening of its borders to tourists until 1 August. 🔸

23/06: Russia, Namibia and Seychelles have been added to the red list 🔴 of countries for which a compelling reason is required to travel from France, even for vaccinated people.
23/06: By plane or by boat, travellers who wanted to travel between Guadeloupe and Martinique will no longer be isolated on arrival.
23/06: Australia begins to reopen its borders to vaccinated students.

22/06: The islands of Koh Tao, Koh Samui, and Koh Phangan in Thailand could reopen to vaccinated people as early as July 15, shortly after Phuket opens on July 1.
22/06: Travellers, even unvaccinated, can now enter Montenegro without a test.
22/06: People who have been vaccinated or who have already had covid are now exempt from PCR testing to enter Italy.
22/06: Hong Kong to reduce quarantine time to 7 days for vaccinated people.
22/06: As of July 5, fully vaccinated travellers who are allowed to enter Canada will no longer be required to quarantine or test on the 8th day after arrival. In addition, fully vaccinated air travellers will not be required to stay in a government-approved hotel. However, tourists are still not allowed in until at least 21 July.

21/06: Estonia no longer imposes a quarantine on travellers from France.
21/06: The land border between Guinea and Senegal will be reopened very soon.
21/06: Niger has reopened its land borders.
21/06: Tunisia announces a general lockdown in four regions.
21/06: Norway to reopen its borders on 24 June.
21/06: The Czech Republic has reopened its borders.
21/06: Finland has reopened its borders to people who have been vaccinated or who have already had the covid.
21/06: Canada extends the closure of the land border with the United States until at least July 21.

19/06: Following Germany’s classification of Namibia as a country with a variant of concern, as of midnight Saturday 19, French nationals not resident in Germany are no longer allowed to board a flight to Europe via Germany.

18/06: In contrast to the easing of health restrictions in several European countries, Portugal has decided to ban entry to and exit from the Lisbon area over the weekend.
18/06: France is now placed in a green zone by Romania. Travellers arriving from France are exempt from quarantine and no longer need to present a PCR test on arrival in Romania.
18/06: Germany has removed France from its list of travel risk areas. There is therefore no longer a quarantine.

17/06: Indonesia may start to reopen its borders in July, but it is not clear how.
17/06: The UK is considering re-allowing vaccinated Britons to travel. It is not yet known whether vaccinated Europeans will be able to enter the kingdom without quarantine.
17/06: Ireland to reopen its borders without quarantine on 19 July.
17/06: Latvia has reopened its borders.
17/06: Hungary will reopen its borders on 24 June.
17/06: The list of green, orange and red countries for entry to and exit from France has been updated:

▸ Canada, USA move to green list (but these countries do not yet allow travellers from Europe)

▸ Turkey moves to orange list

▸ Afghanistan, Maldives and Paraguay move to red list

17/06: Unvaccinated people without compelling reasons can now travel to French Polynesia if they have been in the US for at least 15 days (previously 1 month) even if they are not American.

16/06: Thailand gives itself 120 days to fully reopen its borders. Source
16/06: Malawi closes land and sea borders. Source : Email from Malawi Tourism Council

15/06: Morocco has reopened its air and sea borders.
15/06: The launch of the health pass in the European Union is scheduled for 1 July, but Member States retain the possibility of reintroducing certain travel restrictions, particularly in the case of variants. States agreed to harmonise the validity periods of PCR tests (no more than 72 hours before arrival at destination) and antigenic tests (no more than 48 hours). They also agreed that travelling children under 12 years of age should be exempt from testing and that minors travelling with their parents or an accompanying adult should not be required to undergo quarantine if the accompanying adult is not subject to it. However, the implementation of these decisions is not binding.

14/06: Vaccinated travellers will no longer need a PCR test to enter Kyrgyzstan from 19 June.
14/06: Vaccinated people no longer need to be tested to enter Bosnia and Herzegovina.

12/06: The first phase of the reopening of the borders of Mauritius will start on 15 July, provided you are vaccinated and test negative. A 14-day quarantine will be imposed. Unrestricted travel to Mauritius will not be possible until 1 October.

11/06: France is now placed by the Romanian authorities in the “yellow zone”, with reduced entry conditions. Travellers arriving from France are exempt from quarantine.
11/06: Vaccinated people no longer need to be tested to enter Honduras.

10/06: As of 21 June, it will be possible to download a certificate of vaccination, certified in accordance with European standards, with English subtitles, from the Health Insurance teleservice. This certificate will be part of the authorised proof for travelling within the European Union as of 1 July.

09/06: The United States on Tuesday took the first measured steps towards a return to international travel, easing its warning to people wishing to travel to several countries, including France, and announcing the creation of working groups with key partners to prepare for this resumption.
09/06: Vaccinated people can now travel outside the EU directly from France without compelling reasons. Non-vaccinated tourists can only leave Europe from a country other than France. See the rules for entering / leaving France
09/06 : Guadeloupe, Martinique and Saint-Martin : End of the compelling reason. PCR test less than 72 hours old, even for vaccinated persons. Self-isolation of 7 days for non-vaccinated persons.
09/06 : Reunion and Mayotte : End of the urgent reason only for vaccinated persons. PCR test of less than 72 hours.
09/06: French Polynesia: End of urgent reason only for vaccinated persons. PCR test less than 72 hours old.
09/06: French Guiana, New Caledonia and Wallis and Futuna: Compelling reason maintained
09/06: Canada may begin to gradually open its border with the United States to vaccinated people from 22 June.

▫️   SATIRE

▫️  THE FABULOUS FRIDAY (FUNNIES) GROANS from Paul

It’s that day again.  Enjoy the gags. 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Don’t let them take your temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket 
because it erases your memory. 
I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer. 
 
 
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself 
That’s a little condescending 
 
 
People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full 
are missing the point. The glass is refillable. 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Over drinks one afternoon a buddy of mine and I were discussing former “loves”. I told him that I once broke-up with a girl long ago because she had a seemingly incurable speech impediment.  
George said, “Jimmy, I’m shocked. I never know you to be one to be prejudiced against handicaps. What was the girl’s problem?” 
 
Taking a sip, I paused and reflected. “She couldn’t say ‘yes’.”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out 
making her rounds visiting home-bound patients when she ran 
out of gas. 
 
As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away. 
 
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The 
attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned 
out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was 
on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back 
to her car. 
 
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and 
spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, 
Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with 
gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. 
 
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from 
across the street. 
 
One of them turned to the other and said, ‘If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.’!!

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

A man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, 
”Excuse me, can you help me. I think I’m a moth.” 
Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. 
You need a psychiatrist.” 
Man: “Yes, I know.” 
Dentist: “So why did you come in here?” 
Man: “The light was on…”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Half an hour before the start of the morning, an employee calls his supervisor to say he won’t be coming in today. 
Employee: “I’m having a vision problem.” 
Supervisor: “Sounds bad. What’s wrong?” 
Employee: “I just can’t see myself at work today.”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises.  Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, sad, looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?” I asked. 
He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” 
I asked, “What’s the difference??” 
He replied, “That means I’m scared with a university education.” 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Christmas was fast approaching when my good friend Dawn reminded her eight-year-old son Ken that he would soon be visiting with Santa Claus. 
 
He seemed unusually resistant to the idea. “You do believe in Santa, don’t you?” She finally asked her son. 
 


He thought hard, then said, “Yes, but I think this is the last year.”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. That’s certainly not a ship, “he thinks to himself.  

As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. 
 
She approaches the stunned man and says to him,  

“Tell me how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” 
”Ten years, “replies the Irishman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it,  Takes a long drag and says, “Faith and begorah! Is that good!” 
 
”And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of whiskey?” She asks him.  Trembling, the castaway replies, “Ten years.” She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve,  pulls out a flask and hands it to him.  He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, “Tis absolutely fantastic!” 
 
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?” 
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, 
” Sweet mother of Jesus! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too?”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having used the same tests for the past 35 years. 
 
”Don’t you realise, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades  

and that all of your students know EXACTLY what’s on the test before they sit for it?” 
 
”Doesn’t matter,” replied the professor. “You must realise that with a subject like economics  the answers are different each year!”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

The neighbour dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly  

at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room. 
 
”What’s wrong, Marge?” she asked. 
 
Marge told her that she had “morning sickness”. 
 
Surprised the neighbour said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant.” 
 
”I’m not,” the harried woman replied. “I’m just damn sick of mornings.”

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

• Q: How does a physicist exercise?  A: By pumping ion!   

• Q: Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?  A: Because education pays off in the long run!

• Q: What’s the biggest moth in the world?  A: A Mammoth!

• Q: Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls?  A: Because they couldn’t spell their names!

• Q: What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?  A: Lawyer’s don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes. 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. “She obviously has COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. 

My wife replied with a sneer, “Because she has no taste.” 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Considerate. 

*An old silly one…but a grin inducer nevertheless* 
 
Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said “I’ve found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13, Halls Rd, Jackson, TN.” 
To which the radio jockey says ” Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?” 
 
Mr. Fieinstein says “No……. I just wanted you to play a sad song for him”. 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

Oz male humour 

Do you ever wonder who loves you? Your wife? Your dog? You think they love you, but how do you know if they really do? 

How can you be sure? There is a way to find out and have peace of mind and it only takes one hour. 

Simply open the boot of your car, put your dog and your wife in there, close the boot, grab a couple of beers and watch the footy on the telly for

 an hour or so. Then go back to the car, and open the boot. Now, who is happy to see you? 

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

A few short ones to round out the week…. 

• How many pedantic grammar police does it take to change a lightbulb? Too!  

• Why did the chicken hold a séance? To get to the other side.  

• Viagra. It won’t make you James Bond, but it might make you Roger Moore!  

• Me: Is it weird to talk to yourself? Me: No!  

• Just back from the fishmongers and the guy in front of me bought ALL the crabs, mussels and lobsters. 

Shellfish bastard!  

• I sleep much better naked. Why can’t flight attendants understand that?  

•  Never in the history of calming down, has anyone ever calmed down, by being told to Calm Down!  

• If you were a child when “Red, Red Wine” was released …. UB40ish now!    

• Turns out, when people ask you who your favourite child is, you’re supposed to pick one of your own! Oops!  

• You can tell an Alligator from a Crocodile based on whether it sees you again later or in a while!  

• Is Atheism a non-prophet organisation?  

• Did you know Muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?  

• I wonder if the person who invented the phrase “Jumping on the bandwagon” got really annoyed when everyone started using it?  

• Sure, skydiving is scary but … have you ever been to someone’s house and the toilet won’t flush?  

• Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and say “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you!  

• We all know where the Big Apple is, but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?  

• My wife asked me why I spoke so quietly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed …..  

✏︎ ✏︎ ✏︎

See you again, hopefully on a sunny day.

▫️ WEATHER

Taking a renewed interested in the wind and wave conditions in the coming days thanks to windy.com

▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸

▫️ ADDITIONAL READ FOR TODAY

✏︎ Clues to how birds migrate using Earth’s magnetic field 

✏︎ The very venomous caterpillar