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✏️ FRANCE

Covid-19 infections continue to fall sharply in France. Some 36,726 positive cases have been reported in 24 hours, compared with 58,954 last Sunday.

The average number of positive tests over the past seven days has fallen by almost 30% in one week, according to figures published on Sunday by the health authorities. The seven-day average – more meaningful than daily figures because it smoothes out variations by day of the week – stood at 54,011 cases on Sunday, down from 57,186 on Friday and 76,130 a week ago. It was over 130,000 at the beginning of April.

In one week, the number of patients hospitalised with Covid-19 also fell, to 23,327 including 208 new admissions, compared to 24,888 including 372 new admissions a week ago, according to data from Santé publique France.

Within the hospital, critical care services are also affected by this drop: they had 1,557 Covid patients on Sunday, compared to 1,640 a week earlier. The number of new daily admissions was 19 on Sunday compared to 35 a week earlier.

22 deaths in 24 hours
In total, since the beginning of the epidemic more than two years ago, 145,962 people have been taken by the virus in France, i.e. 22 more deaths in 24 hours.

As of Friday, 54,329,500 people in France had received at least one injection of the vaccine (80.6% of the total population) and 53,425,174 had received a complete vaccination schedule (79.2% of the total population). In addition, as of 29 April, 41,136,094 booster doses had been given.

▫️ THE 20 SUNNIEST CITIES IN FRANCE

Unsurprisingly, the sunniest cities are in the south. The first place is occupied by Marseille and its average of 2,858 hours of sunshine over the year, just ahead of Toulon (2,839 hours) and Ajaccio (2,756 hours). Nice (2,724) and Montpellier (2,668) are in fourth and fifth place.

The tenth place is surprising: it goes to La Rochelle which, with its 2,106 hours of sunshine per year, is ahead of Tarbes (16th) and Biarritz (20th).

Here is the complete ranking:

1. Marseille (Bouches-du-Rhône)

2. Toulon (Var) 

3. Ajaccio (Corse-du-Sud)

4. Nice (Alpes-Maritimes)

5. Montpellier (Hérault) 

6. Bastia (Haute-Corse)

7. Perpignan (Pyrénées-Orientales)

8. Montélimar (Drôme) 

9. Carcassonne (Aude) 👍

10. La Rochelle (Charente-Maritime) 

11. Grenoble (Isère) 

12. Bordeaux (Gironde) 

13. Toulouse (Haute-Garonne) 

14. Lyon (Rhône) 

15. Bourg-Saint-Maurice (Savoie) 

16. Tarbes (Hautes-Pyrénées) 

17. Clermont-Ferrand (Puy-de-Dôme) 

18. Limoges (Haute-Vienne) 

19. Poitiers (Vienne) 

20. Biarritz (Pyrénées-Atlantiques) 

▫️ STORK NEWS

All 5 chicks were born in the past few days

https://www.sarralbe.fr/cigognes

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▫️ VIDEO / PIC OF THE WEEK

▫️ SATIRE

▫️ THE FABULOUS FRIDAY FUNNIES from Paul

Greetings all. Once more around the sun…..   enjoy the funnies.

🔶 After ignoring you for 20 minutes, you’d be surprised how quickly the employees at Bunnings ‘assist’ you, as soon as you try to start up a chainsaw!


🔶 Clever Dick has died and gone to hell

Devil: This is the lake of lava in which you will spend eternity
Clever Dick: Actually we are way underground so, it will be magma
Devil: You realise that is why you are here …

🔶 Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s popcorn?

🔶 Q: What do you call your dad when he falls
through the ice?
A: a POPsicle!

🔶 Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

🔶 Father: Let me see your report card.
Son: I don’t have it.
Father: Why not?
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

🔶 The only cow in a small Yorkshire village suddenly stopped giving milk.
The locals did some research and found that they could buy a new cow
just across the Pennines in Lancashire for £200.

So they bought the cow from Lancashire and the cow was absolutely
wonderful.
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the villagers were
very happy.

They decide to acquire a bull to mate with the cow in order to
produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their
milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would
move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would
move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the local vet, who was
very wise, what to do.

They told the vet what was happening. “Whenever the bull tries to
mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she
moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
Any attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side.”

The vet thought about this for a minute and asked,
“Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Lancashire?”

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
where they bought the cow. “You are such a clever vet,” they all said.
“How did you know we got the cow in Lancashire?”

The vet replied with a distant look in his eye,
“My wife is from Lancashire.”

🔶 Some short musings ……………..

✏︎ So I’m heading to Greenwich later tonight.
Wondering what I should do in the Mean Time?

✏︎ Q: What do you need to make a small
fortune on Wall Street?
A: A large fortune.

✏︎ I can’t believe how many basic historical facts most people
don’t know.
For example most people don’t even know that Louis Armstrong was the first man
on the moon.

✏︎ A bloke in work asked me if I knew anywhere he could get a second
hand toupee, I said “Not off the top of my head”

✏︎Every one in my town wears woollen jumpers that are a size too small… We are a very tight knit community.

✏︎Just bought a new Ford Siesta, taking it back next week, effin thing won’t start between 2pm and 5pm

🔶 Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face. 

“Why are you rubbing that cream on your face, mummy?” he asked. “To stay pretty for daddy”
said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. 

“What’s the matter mommy?” asked Little Johnny “Giving up?”

🔶 A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to fly to Cairns with my boss and several of his friends for fishing.. We’ll be gone for a long weekend. This
is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend”…..
And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic ?
We’re leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up..
‘Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pyjamas..’
The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife,
She does exactly what her husband asked.
Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says, ‘Yes! Lots of Bream, some Bass, and a few Pike.
He said but why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?

You’ll love the answer………
The wife replies, “I did, they’re in your tackle box”.

🔶 As pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us,
“Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make.”

🔶 An applicant for a job with the federal government was filling
out the application form.

He came to this question: “Do you favor the overthrow of the
Australian government by force, subversion, or violence?”

Thinking it was a multiple-choice question, he checked “Violence.”

🔶 I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses.  I don’t know why she does.  

Perhaps glasses are now “cool” to have in school?  But though she sees just fine, she still
says she needs glasses.

I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, “All right, I can see the ‘O’ and the
‘P’ and the ‘T,’ but not the ‘N’ and the ‘Z.'”

🔶 An old farmer went to town to see a movie.
The ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”
The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster, Chucky.”
Wherever I go, Chucky goes.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent.
 “We can’t allow animals in the theatre.”

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants.
He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theatre.
He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
The movie started and the rooster began to squirm.
The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

“Marge,” whispered Mildred.
“What?” said Marge.
“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”
“What makes you think so?” asked Marge.
“He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out,” whispered Mildred.

“Well, don’t worry about it,” said Marge. “At our age we’ve seen ’em all.”
“That’s what I thought, too,” said Mildred, “but this one’s eating my popcorn.”

🔶 Q: What do you call a garbage man with no nose?
A: Lucky.

Well after all that – see you next week!

▫️ ADDITIONAL READS FOR TODAY

○Landlord influencers versus online trolls.

○Chemists finally decode the structure of Pepto-Bismol.

○Visiting some of America’s most fascinating places.

○Amputee runner logs 104 marathons in 104 days.

○Oklahoma City couple ties the knot mid-flight.

○Russia’s navy deploys the dolphins.

○Wildlife safety with a side of humor.

▫️ MORE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE US 🇺🇸