Living through a pandemic
in the south of France
484 days in Carcassonne since
1st lockdown in March 2020
DAILY STATISTICS HERE
▫️ FROM HOME’S NEWS DESK
✏️ It has been a weird kind of week. I am glad to be out of hospital despite the fact, strangely, that I quite “enjoyed” most of it. Being home is of course far more comfortable. Basically the main news is that COVID’s 4th wave has arrived and is rolling in fast all over the place. Nearer home, the incidence rate in the Aude departement is back in the red at over 80 which is higher than the national average at 53. It will get worse now that the tourists and holiday makers have arrived and are crowding the beaches and other spots.
I predict that within 10 days some local restrictions, masks, curfew will be imposed again.
Although the number of new cases are exploding, the number of hospital patients and patients in ICU is stable and in fact still on a very shallow decreasing path.
After the speech from M. E Macron at the beginning of the week, a record number of people have registered to be vaccinated and in fact yesterday the record of people being vaccinated so far has been broken. This is good news and this despite the anti-vaccine propaganda from the politicians from the far left and far right. I personally think they should be taken to court and charged with intentional grievous body harm.
✏️ Driving licence
A mutual agreement between France and the UK
Do you hold a British driving licence and live in France? Since 28 June 2021, an agreement on the continued mutual recognition of driving licences between France and the UK has been in place. Holders of valid UK licences issued before 1 January 2021 can continue to drive in France. Until now these people had to exchange their licences or take the French driving test.
The firework in Paris 3 days ago was quite spectacular as expected. It has been a long time since I have been in my home town onJuly 14th. Maybe next year…
✏️ Apollo 11
On July 16, 1969, Apollo 11 left the Earth with what would be the first men to land on the moon. Soon enough, Neil Armstrong would plant the first footprint on the moon.
▫️ TRAVEL NEWS
There are quite a few new 🔸 items on the Travel Page.
▫️ THE FABULOUS FRIDAY (FUNNIES) GROANS from Paul
G’day from Lockdown#5. Here are a few laughs to take your mind off it.
✒︎ Two American Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
‘Was the other Indian crazy or what?’
The Indian replied ‘No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there’s a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’
Immediately, there was the answer.
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ from deep inside.
He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
‘Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!’
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ Like the others, he then heard an answering call, ‘WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!’
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read……………
You’ll like this
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!
✒︎ You know you are old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.
✒︎ At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music they would like to enter the service to.
One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley’s hit, “Love me Tender.”
The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the family to walk in to the service.
Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and the family found
themselves walking in to,
“Return to Sender.”
✒︎ A guy is lost in the desert and desperately needs a drink. As he follows the dunes, he comes upon another man riding a camel.
He asks the man if he has something to drink.
The man on the camel said, “No, but if you like, I have a nice selection of ties. Would you
like to buy one?”
“No!” The first man replies. “Are you crazy? I need something to drink, not a tie!”
So the man on the camel tells him that there is a cantina just a day’s walk ahead.
So the walking man continues his
slow and thirsty trek until finally he comes upon the cantina.
He gratefully approaches the doorman and begs, “I’m so glad I made it!
Can I get in and have some water?”
The doorman frowned at him. “Not without a tie.”
✒︎ Some short thoughts
▪︎During the Middle Ages, they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does
anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?
▪︎We can all now agree that in 2016 not a single person got the answer correct to,
‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
▪︎English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are
visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
✒︎ Just landed a part in the remake of Treasure Island, I play long john
silver, I’m getting £5000 a week and I start Tuesday. My mate said if I
was getting £5000 a week I’d start on Monday, I said I can’t I’m having
my leg off Monday
✒︎ What if a dog brings back the ball because he thinks we like throwing it?
✒︎ I had a blind date last night but before it I was worried what to do if she was really unattractive. My friend told me not to worry as there’s an app for just that situation. It’s
called “Mom Are You Ok” and it schedules your phone to ring just after you meet your date.
If you like her, you just ignore your phone. If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, “Mom? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
It works every time, no worries.
So anyway, I knocked on the girl’s door and it turns out I needn’t have worried at all. She was absolutely gorgeous and stunning!
But just when I was about to speak to her, her phone rang. She answered it and said, “Mom? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
✒︎ Mitsy and Milda were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays.
“My daughter-in-Law stopped making my grandchildren send their
thank you notes. Each year I sent the grandchildren a card with a
generous cheque inside. I always received a lovely thank you note.
However, since my daughter-in-Law stopped making the grandkids
send thank you notes, I never hear from them.”
“My daughter-in-Law never made the grandchildren send thank you
notes. I, too, send them a very generous cheque. However, for the past
several years, I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In
fact, they each pay me a personal visit.”
“Wow,” remarked Mitsy. “I wish mine would do that.”
“You can, Mitsy, you can.”
“How?” Mitsy asked.
“Simple,” Milda replied.
“Do what I do: Don’t sign the cheque”
✒︎ Football with a blonde girlfriend
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants
and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her
date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept
screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”
✒︎ And to finish, on a topical note…..
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
Catch you later……..
▫️ NEWS FROM ACROSS THE POND 🇺🇸
Some more gems from crazy USA
▫️ ADDITIONAL READS FOR TODAY